Idiots guide of how to annoy Akatsuki Members!
by MiharuBlueCat
Summary: You always wanted to know how to annoy certain Akatsuki Members? Then click here and you will be enlightened in the art of driving Akas insane!
1. Deidara

A/N: How to annoy ppl from the Akatsuki!!! Yaaay!=3 Warning: This is utterly and absolutely random....I was bored....

So you have been warned...

And now....enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don`t own Naruto.....I wish I would though....

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How to annoy....**Deidara!**

1. Swap his clay with playdoh

2. Die his cloak pink

3. Ask if he makes out with his handmouthes

4. Ask if his handmouthes snore

5. Play the „barbie girl" song everytime he enters a room/village

6. Cut off that ponytail thing he has

7. Call him Dei-Dei-chan

8. Squeal Deeeeeeeeei-Deeeeeeeeeeeeei-chaaaaaaaaaaan everytime you see him and glomp him

9. Put his handmouthes and not him on the „Sexiest Singles" list

10. Play strip poker with him, and make the game dedicated to seeing whether he`s a guy or a girl

11. See if you can get one of his handmouths to bite it`s tongue

12. Ask if he had his first kiss with one of his handmouthes

13. Shake hands with him after dipping your hand in super-hot sauce, and hope that the hand mouth liked the hand afterwards...=3

14. Ask if his hand mouths ever needed braces

15. Handcuff him to Tobi

16. Start an argument between him and sasori on what type of art is better

17. _Accidentally_ give away all his clay to Tobi for an Arts and Crafts class

18. Constantly watch him to see whether he enters the girl`s or guy`s bathroom

19. Ask if he got valentines from the guys as well as the girls

20. Ask if painting the fingernails was his idea...

21. Ask if his hands have ever eaten soap before when he takes a bath (and if he says that he doesn`t take baths, well, you know what to do...*evil laughter*

22. Make Deidara very, very late for meeting sasori or something

23. Ask if his handmouths puke

24. Ask if his handmouths eat his food

25. Hold some laxatives and shake hands and allow them to eat the laxatives

26. Show him ALL of the yaoi of him

27. Show him ALL of the YURI of him...;)

28. Handcuff him and throw him in a dark room with Tobi....leave him there for 3 days...then go and see what`s left of him/them

29. When he`s in a grumpy mood, give him a tampon and say: „Don`t worry, Dei-Dei-chan, we all know those days....

30. (Idea by Bloodangel92) Tell him his art isn`t worth anything and that it belongs in the garbage.....

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So, what do you think?

Is it good/funny/bad/boring? Do you want to read more? next chapter would be Kisame.=3

So, please review and tell me what you think!!!!!


	2. Kisame

A/N: Well, I`m back! And I´ve brought you a new chapter with wonderful ways to inflict pain/humiliation on Kisame or just to annoy him!^^

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! They made me happy.=) Oh, and Bloodangel92? I loved your idea and added it straight away. And before we begin to annoy Kisame, I just wanted to say that if you all have any good ideas, don`t hesitate to contact me and I`ll add them!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.(Though I would want to own Itachi...^^)

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1. Call him "Chum" (A/N: Chum is shark food=)

2. Tell him that Jaws was the worst movie ever.

3. Appear suddenly infront of him and try to catch him in a pokeball.

4. Buy him an indestructable Gai-Beat-Up doll.

5. Introduce him to Lee, the mini-Gai.

6. Tipp Gai off that Kisame would like to take a few lessons on "youthfulness" and set him loose on him.

7. Ask him if he had any problems growing up with other children, and weather they made fun of him for he`s blue.

8. Ask him since he`s blue, he`ll take over Valentine`s Das, since the Grinch was green and took over Christmas.

9. Set him up on a date with a real girl shark that wears a pink bow and lipstick ( lol, just imagine!).

10. Steal his beloved Samehada while wearing heavy duty gloves so it won`t spike you and ruuuuuuuuuuuun awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy.....

11. Set him up on a blind date with Gai.

12. Start singing „Under The Sea" around him and see how he reacts.

13. Ask if his hair always stood up like that and just how much gell he needs for it...

14. Ask him how much dye he needed to dye his body blue, and his hair.

15. Set him up for plastic surgery to see if they can get rid of his blue skin.

16. Ask if his WHOLE body is blue.

17. Sneek pink dye in his shampoo bottle and tell him later on that he actually looks quite nice with pink hair as it makes a nice contrast with his skin.

18. Ask if he`s a relative of Jaws.

19. Ask if he „does it" the human or the shark way.

20. Ask just how exactly he reproduces.

21. Ask if he came out of a egg as some sharks lay eggs.

22. As he walks under a building, sit on top of the building and have a fishing rod and go fishing for kisame with shark chow as bait!

23. Ask if all his family was blue and let him know that it isn`t what is on the outside, but what`s on the inside that matters....

24. Go for a seven hour marathon of playing `Blue` around him.

25. Show him yaoi pics of him and Gai.

26. Ask if he`s ever dated a fish.

27. Ask how he _feels_ about all the yaoi pics of him and Itachi.

28. Show him yaoi of him and Itachi.

29. (If you`re a Mermaid Melody fan, you`ll understand this one...lol) grab one of the mics from Mermaid Melody and say their catch phrase and try to destroy him with your Pichi Pichi Pitch powers!!!

30. Organize a huge Akatsuki BBQ party and try to grill him.

31. Hand him to a starved Chouji...(SUSHI!!!!XD)

32. Bring him to Darla from Finding Nemo.

33. Ask if he thinks that Goldfish crackers are offensive.

34. Tell him that people should continue polluting the oceans.

35. Tell him that you`re a sharkhunter, and carry a harpoon with you.

36. Try and harpoon at kisame, and when he looks angry at you, say `There he blows!´

37. Play the `Jaws` theme whenever he enters a room/village

38. Everytime you see him stop whatever you`re doing and start to sind the `Kleiner Hai` song and do the dance...XD

39. (Idea by Madm) Keep playing the song `I`m blue` over and over to him.

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So, please review, and remember to pm me if you have any good ideas!;)

Next time.....hm, I don`t know who will be up next, but maybe Zetsu? Christmas is coming up, and what would it be without a tree? (Wow, that even rhymed!)


	3. Zetsu

A/N: Hello my dear readers! First, thank you sooo much for all your wonderful reviews! They really, really made me happy!!! Second, MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all. I hope you have a nice Christmas - may all your wishes come true. Here is my present, read, laugh, and (hopefully) review!

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How to annoy ZETSU!!!

1. Ask his opinion on weed-whackers

2. Let him see you go into a plant store asking what kind of weed-killer you should use to kill a giant venus flytrap.

3. Ask if he started as a seed.

4. Ask if he sleeps in a pot.

5. Watch for if he flirts with other plants.

6. For a present, give him manure, and tell that it`s for him...As his fertilizer...

7. Ask if any animals have spread urine on him, mistaking him as an ordinary plant.

8. Ask about how many ladies he gets, looking like a half-plant freak and all.

9. Ask if he is half black, half white ALL OVER his body.

10. Set his venus flytrap part on fire.

11. Give him caterpillars to start eating his plant part.

12. Ask him how he reproduces....the _plant_ or the_ human _way....?

13. Cut dow a tree he is just residing in and see what happens.

14. Tie him up and use him as Christmas tree.....plus don`t forget the decorations....XD

15. (Idea by OxVanillaPeachesxO) Tell him you collect exotix Venus fly traps for a collection, and ask him to be apart of it.

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SO, there we are - at the end of another chapter.

Did you like your present?=) You liked it, right?;) Let me know and make my day by dropping me a nice line or two!

OoOlove you all,OoO

xOoONarutoluver93OoOx


	4. Hidan & Kakuzu

A/N: So, here´s the next chappie! I combined Hidan and Kakuzu because I´m starting to run out of ideas. The next chapter will probably be the last.

As usual, enjoy and please review.

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How to annoy HIDAN!

1. Ask if he´s a vampire.

2. Hand him to an Atheist (no offense to atheist meant, I´m on myself, but just think of it...*lol*)

3. Make him join a club called Vegan´s Annonymous.

4. Take away his scythe.

5. Put his scythe up for sle on ebay, and let kakuzu see it, and then let him buy it, and tell Hidan that Kakuzu just stole his scythe.

6. Get Kakuzu really mad at Hidan.

7. Constantly make traps trying to kill Hidan although he´s immortal.

8. Come running in stupidly during one of his rituals screaming idiotically.

9. Tell him his rituals are dumb.

10. Cut him up and feed him to Zetsu.

11. Tell him that his god doesn´t exist and that he should become................(insert religion here, rofl)

12. Ask if he´s emo.

13. Start singing the emo song (except replace all the "I"´s with "you"`s) around him.

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How to annoy KAKUZU!

1. Make him go bankrupt.

2. Screw around with his bank account.

3. Say that he´s just won a million dollars and that he has to pick it up at a certain address, and the address really just leads to something like a ballet school or junk yard.

4. Pull his threads.

5. Dance around him singing ``Money, Money, Money``.

6. Make a stock market crash on his stocks.(I´m pretty sure he´d have stocks)

7. Keep on bugging him about his bad temper.

8. Chain him to Hidan, Gai AND Lee for 3 days and then come to see what´s left of him.

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That was all for this time. So, like it? Hate it? Let me know by clicking that adorable button down there and leaving me a little note.

See ya all for the last chapter,

Narutoluver93


	5. Leader, Konan, Tobi, Sasori & EmoUchiha

A/N: Dynamic entry! Yosh! I have _finally_ managed to type up the last chapter! Horay! I especially enjoyed to write Itachi and Sasori, but the others were fun to, although I could not think of many ways to annoy Tobi, he´s just such a cheerful little lad...=) Now, when you read this and have a good idea, don´t hesitate to drop me a line and I will add it right away!  
Before we beginn, I want to thank all of you who have dropped me a nice line and encouraged me, **you are fantastic!** Special thanks goes to OxVanillaPeachesoX for having nice torture ideas and faithfully reviewing. This chapter is for you! And now, have fun!

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How to ANNOY KONAN!

1. Make all of her paper go on FIRE!

2. Or even better: BURN her!

3. Ask if she´s like the player/special toy (if you catch my drift;)) of the Akatsuki.

4. Ask if she´s ever DONE it with any of the Akatsuki.

5. Dunk her in a huge thing of water...or oil.

6. Ask if she´s related to Kisame with that blue hair.

7. Hand her to a hippie/eco-freak who gives her hell about using non-recycled paper.(lol-"You killed the trees! You KILLED them!")

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How to ANNOY PEIN!!!

(A/N: Ok, so I´ve read the manga and I know That those `piercings` aren´t piercings . But for the sake of the funny images, let´s just pretend, ok?)

1. Dance around him calling him a `stupid god`

2. Every time he starts to say anything start howling with laughter even if it isn´t funny.

3. Use a giant magnet, and if all those piercings are metal....Let´s just say it could become painful for him.

4. Do the same thing as number one, but use a SUPER strengh magnet from an airplaine or something.

5. Keep on bugging him on how many piercings he has, and where thy all are.

6. Ask if it hurt to get all those piercings.

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How to ANNOY TOBI!!!

1. Insult his beloved Deidara-sempai.

2. Steal candy from him.

3. Steal his mask.

4. In his sleep, draw a funny moustache on his mask.

5. Put itching powder in his mask.

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How to ANNOY ITACHI!!

1. Show him Yaoi of him and SasGAY.

2. Cut his ponytail.

3. Give him shark sushi when Kisame is around.

4. Buy him a t-shirt with a `Worlds best son´ print.

5. Tell Sasuke his location.

6. Handcuff him and Sasuke to Uchihacest fangirls and tell them they can do with them whatever they want to do;D....

7. Tell him about a family reunion that you planned ESPECIALLY for him.

8. Sell his underwear on ebay.

9. Tell him that you need to tighten his ponytail, and if you can, but a bell there, so then he can become insane.=3

10. Force him to dance the Caramelldansen.

11.(All credits for this one go to Sudden Love) Call him "weasle-chan" or "skunk-chan" because his name means both weasle and skunk....my, Kishi was sure creative with the character names...XD

12.(I especially love this one, it´s from OxVanillaPeachesxO) Force him into a pink bunny suit, hand him a basket of daisies and introduce him to a psycho fangirl. Rofl!!!!=D

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How to ANNOY SASORI!!!

1. Ask if he has ever dated one of his puppets.

2. Set up a lunch date with him, and make sure the date is an hour late.

3. Introduce him to Kakashi, the guy who always arrives late...=D

4. Set him up for a family reunion.

5. Set him on FIRE!!!

6. Set his entire puppet collection on FIRE! ***Muwahahahaha***

7. Ask if he´s ever done anything `naughty` to any of his puppets.

8. While he´s asleep, take the cord puppet part on him and go tie it around in knots around a bunch of trees, or even better, the Hokage´s or Pein´s bed.....

9. Tell him Deidara is a real artist.

10. Ask if any of his puppets are ex-girlfriends....

11. Ask if you can date one of his puppets...But not him.(lol...so evil)

12. Ask if him and his puppets can do the wave.....XD

13.(Idea by sandydragon) Ask him if he and Deidara are going out.

14.(Idea by sandydragon=) Stick termites on him.

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_**THE END!**_


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